Been Forever, I Know

Man, where do I start? I have been struggling with depression and worry lately. Afraid if I catch a cold, that I'll end up bedridden. I think I'm ready to sell my car, but not sure. Not sure how I'll handle it if it's not in the driveway anymore. Accepting that I may not drive again is killing me. I cried so hard Sunday that I just wailed. MS has taken away so much that was a part of me, that I don't like what's left. Damn this disease! Everything that I enjoyed doing in life is gone, so what's the point in living? I am a shell of a human just getting by day to day. Is that really living? If the definition of living is breathing in and out, then I guess I'm alive. God I hate my life!! When Mom is gone, I'll have no one. That scares the shit out of me! My eyes are tearing up as I type this. I'll write more later.